Why Change is Hard: Keeping New Year’s Resolutions

Have you heard the saying  “people resist change?”

We do resist, because an element of change is the unknown, which implies a possible lack of control. Any perception of lack of control produces anxiety. That is a  recipe for resistance, whether the anxiety is conscious ( job change) or unconscious ( “Dad left  when I was 3.”)


Sincere, determined Intentions fly out the Window

Why, in spite of our sincere and determined intentions, do  New Year’s resolutions refuse to root and become part of our self-improved happy lives? In order for a seed to take root and grow, it has to be planted in fertile soil and given the food, water and sun it needs.  It has to be nurtured. In other words, if a habit, fear or negative/limiting belief ( it’s not right to be wealthy… I have to eat everything on my plate because there are starving children in China…I don’t deserve to have what I want, that would be selfish…) is planted in soil that cannot support it, it dies.

So many of my clients over the years were unaware that they were shadowboxing with a formidable opponent– stealth virus programming on their own internal hard drive. Until we uncovered and healed the traumatic memories that fuel the  “stoppers” that sabotaged them with everything from health and success to a happy relationship, no amount of willpower, self-help books or expensive seminars with “weekend transformation” gurus would help.

Re-format, and clean out that system.

So what are some of these virus programs and how can we  release them or re-format their programming? The formal term is “psychological reversal” which means one’s energy literally goes backwards in a resistance pattern when a thought or emotion appears that causes a negative/anxiety reaction in us. It could be a fear thought. For example a person who says they desperately want to lose weight instead finds themselves eating all the wrong foods in excessive quantities. That’s classic self-sabotage. Maybe there’s an unconscious stealth virus on their hard drive rooted in childhood abuse that says, “it’s not safe to be small.”  Someone else might  be triggered unconsciously by an inner deprivation and loneliness that is driving them to eat to fill the empty feeling inside. As they soon find out, there’s not enough food, or for hoarders, enough stuff, to fill that kind of emptiness.

Improve, Release and bring about the positives!

So as you assess the areas of your life that you want to improve, release old patterns and bring about positive changes, be aware of  any feelings of anxiety, doubt or inner resistance rather than openness, peace, excitement and a feeling of ease. Dig deeper to find the root(s) of any internal static with this question: what or who does this feeling remind me of? Journal your thoughts and a pattern should emerge that will help you uncover the triggers and stealth sabotage programs running under your radar, waiting to derail your progress and keep you from the positive changes you want.  If you can’t trace the energetic signatures yourself, call me for a reading that will reveal your personal healing blueprint.

Love and blessings for an exciting year of change, healing and accomplishments in 2014!